You hear a million times when you are planning a wedding that you shouldn’t try to please everyone, and in research for this blog I realised there are plenty of other blogs and forums confirming it. I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment.
However, realistically (and from first hand experience) I know you want all your guests to enjoy every element of the day you’ve spent so long planning. So, whilst it is definitely easier said than done, I’m here to offer a few ways you can please other people without compromising your own wedding day vision and wishes.
I’m a people-pleaser and a peace keeper through and through, so I had the burning desire (and impossible task) to please everyone on my own wedding day. But thankfully, I had been through a lot of weddings and had spent some time working out what was actually important to me, what would be most memorable and what was worth fighting my corner to have.
So as you compromise and maybe take some of this advice on board, please remember: it is YOUR day, it will be YOUR memories and part of YOUR history…you are 100% entitled to have it YOUR way. Be respectful of others who may be contributing financially or physically but don’t forget: you only get to do this once!
I’m not promising this blog will solve your wedding planning nightmares, but here are my five ways to please more people in your wedding planning decisions.
1. The Cake
You don’t like fruit cake but your grandparents are insisting it’s tradition? It’s becoming more and more popular to mix up the flavours of your wedding cake. Picking a different flavour for each tier is a sure fire way to please more people, or better yet, plan an entire cake table with a whole selection of desserts and sweet treats to ensure everyone is tucking into your wedding cake by the end of the night! Check out all the flavours I offer on my menu page!
2. The Seating Plan
I feel this wedding planning task ranks highly in the most stressful list, especially for couples with broken families. Creating a seating chart that doesn’t cause an argument can be extremely tricky. Take your time. Don’t force yourself to pick one side or another. You may find the ultimate solution is to choose a neutral side, have a top table with your friends and avoid the family feuds altogether.
3. The Music
You want the dance floor full for as much of the night as possible! Your DJ will be an expert in reading the room so don’t restrain him with too much of a dictated playlist. If you do want to pick some tunes, try adding some classic floor-fillers mixed with some of your personal favourites (rather than 2 straight hours of your top heavy metal tracks) – and don’t forget the songs people love to sing-a-long to.
4. The Readings
If you are including readings in your ceremony and are struggling to pick them, then why not try to half the responsibility and pick one each, or maybe delegate even further and ask your readers to pick something they think represents you as a couple and leave it as a delightful surprise on the big day. It will make your readers feel happier and more involved and the pressure is off as the decision is left to someone else!
5. The Food
There is a chance your taste might not be something a large group would appreciate. If you have someone close to you who is being ‘opinionated’ about the food, maybe invite them to the tasting. Alternatively, if your caterer allows it, offer your guests the chance to pick from a few options as part of their RSVP. Letting people have options makes them feel in control of a decision, even if you’ve managed to whittle the menu down to a few options that you’ve picked anyway.
Planning a wedding brings up a mixture of feelings and emotions for so many people beyond just the couple getting married. I remember vividly getting a whole host of opinions and ideas from people about how my wedding day should be, and the endless conversations justifying my vision and decisions.
I’d highly recommend you take a minute, grab a slice of cake, and sit down with your partner to agree on the non-negotiables - and then back each other to the end of the earth if anyone tries to make you compromise or change your choice on those few things. With everything else on the planning pile, assess the wiggle room you’re willing to have and embrace the love people are showing you through their ‘helpful’ ideas.